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Funny Quoted Biography
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
More funny Wilson Mizner quotes
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Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
More funny Flannery O'Connor quotes
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Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
More funny Oliver Herford quotes
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People do not deserve good writing, they are so pleased with bad.
More funny Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes
***
Television has raised writing to a new low.
More funny Samuel Goldwyn quotes
***
Only a mediocre writer is always at his best.
More funny W. Somerset Maugham quotes
***
With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and definite hardening of the paragraphs.
More funny James Thurber quotes
***
The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.
More funny Mark Twain quotes
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A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.
More funny Ring Lardner quotes
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I just wrote a book, but don't go out and buy it yet, because I don't think it's finished yet.
More funny Lawrence Welk quotes
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When he killed a calf he would do it in a high style, and make a speech. (About Shakespeare)
More funny John Aubrey quotes
***
It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
More funny Andrew Jackson quotes
***
Backward ran sentences until reeled the mind. (on the style of Time magazine)
More funny Wolcott Gibbs quotes
***
Writing is learning to say nothing, more cleverly every day.
More funny William Allingham quotes
***
A dramatist is a congenital eavesdropper with the instincts of a Peeping Tom.
More funny Kenneth Tynan quotes
***
A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
More funny Gilbert K. Chesterton quotes
***
To be able to write a play a man must be sensitive, imaginative, naive, gullible, passionate; he must be something of an imbecile, something of a poet, something of a liar, something of a damn fool.
More funny Robert E. Sherwood quotes
***
Good authors, too, who once knew better words now only use four-letter words writing prose... anything goes.
More funny Cole Porter quotes
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The writer probably knows what he meant when he wrote a book, but he should immediately forget what he meant when he's written it.
More funny William Golding quotes
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A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.
More funny William Faulkner quotes
***
I write to escape ... to escape poverty.
More funny Edgar Rice Burroughs quotes
***
If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
More funny Kingsley Amis quotes
***
You call this a script? Give me a couple of $5000.00-a-week writers and I'll write it myself.
More funny Joe Pasternak quotes
***
The only imaginative fiction being written today is income tax returns.
More funny Herman Wouk quotes
***
The profession of book-writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.
More funny John Steinbeck quotes
***
If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers.
More funny Irvin S. Cobb quotes
***
It's a damn good story. If you have any comments, write them on the back of a check.
More funny Erle Stanley Gardner quotes
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I'm like a big old hen. I can't cluck too long about the egg I've just laid because I've got five more inside me pushing to get out.
More funny Louis L'Amour quotes
***
Writers, like teeth, are divided into incisors and grinders.
More funny Walter Bagehot quotes
***
The reminiscences of Mrs. Humphrey Ward ... convinced me that autobiography is a sin.
More funny Harold Laski quotes
***
The difference between an author and a horse is that the horse doesn't understand the horse dealer's language.
More funny Max Frisch quotes
***
Writing is pretty crummy on the nerves.
More funny Paul Theroux quotes
***
The secret of good writing is to say an old thing in a new way or to say a new thing in an old way.
More funny Richard Harding Davis quotes
***
If you wrote a novel in South Africa which didn't concern the central issues, it wouldn't be worth publishing.
More funny Alan Paton quotes
***
You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style.
More funny Vladimir Nabokov quotes
***
And all writing is creating or spinning dreams for other people so they won't have to bother doing it themselves.
More funny Beth Henley quotes
***
Writing is a lonely job, unless you're a drinker, in which case you always have a friend within reach.
More funny Emilio Estevez quotes
***
I believe some people are just too damn smart to write fiction.
More funny Harry Crews quotes
***
A young musician plays scales in his room and only bores his family. A beginning writer, on the other hand, sometimes has the misfortune of getting into print.
More funny Marguerite Yourcenar quotes
***
Let's face it, writing is hell.
More funny William Styron quotes
***
A collection of short stories is generally thought to be a horrendous clinker; an enforced courtesy for the elderly writer who wants to display the trophies of his youth, along with his trout flies.
More funny John Cheever quotes
***
I'm astounded by people who take 18 years to write something. That's how long it took that guy to write 'Madame Bovary,' and was that ever on the best-seller list?
More funny Sylvester Stallone quotes
***
The waste basket is the writer's best friend.
More funny Isaac Bashevis Singer quotes
***
A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special.
More funny Nelson Mandela quotes
***
When I was a little boy, they called me a liar, but now that I am grown up, they call me a writer.
More funny Isaac Bashevis Singer quotes
***
I've always believed in writing without a collaborator, because where two people are writing the same book, each believes he gets all the worry and only half the royalties.
More funny Agatha Christie quotes
***
The best time to plan a book is while you're doing the dishes.
More funny Agatha Christie quotes
***
The cure for mixed metaphors, I have always found, is for the patient to be obliged to draw a picture of the result.
More funny Bernard Levin quotes
***
There's one good kind of writer—a dead one.
More funny James T. Farrell quotes
***
Here I am paying big money to you writers and what for? All you do is change the words.
More funny Samuel Goldwyn quotes
***
My sole literary ambition is to write one good novel, then retire to my hut in the desert, assume the lotus position, compose my mind and senses, and sink into meditation, contemplating my novel.
More funny Edward Abbey quotes
***
For a long time now I have tried simply to write the best I can. Sometimes I have good luck and write better than I can.
More funny Ernest Hemingway quotes
***
Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week.
More funny Bette Midler quotes
***
After being Turned Down by numerous Publishers, he had decided to write for Posterity.
More funny George Ade quotes
***
I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.
More funny Peter De Vries quotes
***
Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.
More funny Josh Billings quotes
***
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
More funny Josh Billings quotes
***
You will find more famous quotes of all types at our sister site
Funny Quoted Biography
Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research.
More funny Wilson Mizner quotes
***
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
More funny Flannery O'Connor quotes
***
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
More funny Oliver Herford quotes
***
People do not deserve good writing, they are so pleased with bad.
More funny Ralph Waldo Emerson quotes
***
Television has raised writing to a new low.
More funny Samuel Goldwyn quotes
***
Only a mediocre writer is always at his best.
More funny W. Somerset Maugham quotes
***
With sixty staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and definite hardening of the paragraphs.
More funny James Thurber quotes
***
The difference between the right word and almost the right word is the difference between lightning and the lightning bug.
More funny Mark Twain quotes
***
A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.
More funny Ring Lardner quotes
***
I just wrote a book, but don't go out and buy it yet, because I don't think it's finished yet.
More funny Lawrence Welk quotes
***
When he killed a calf he would do it in a high style, and make a speech. (About Shakespeare)
More funny John Aubrey quotes
***
It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
More funny Andrew Jackson quotes
***
Backward ran sentences until reeled the mind. (on the style of Time magazine)
More funny Wolcott Gibbs quotes
***
Writing is learning to say nothing, more cleverly every day.
More funny William Allingham quotes
***
A dramatist is a congenital eavesdropper with the instincts of a Peeping Tom.
More funny Kenneth Tynan quotes
***
A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
More funny Gilbert K. Chesterton quotes
***
To be able to write a play a man must be sensitive, imaginative, naive, gullible, passionate; he must be something of an imbecile, something of a poet, something of a liar, something of a damn fool.
More funny Robert E. Sherwood quotes
***
Good authors, too, who once knew better words now only use four-letter words writing prose... anything goes.
More funny Cole Porter quotes
***
The writer probably knows what he meant when he wrote a book, but he should immediately forget what he meant when he's written it.
More funny William Golding quotes
***
A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call what he writes fiction.
More funny William Faulkner quotes
***
I write to escape ... to escape poverty.
More funny Edgar Rice Burroughs quotes
***
If you can't annoy somebody, there's little point in writing.
More funny Kingsley Amis quotes
***
You call this a script? Give me a couple of $5000.00-a-week writers and I'll write it myself.
More funny Joe Pasternak quotes
***
The only imaginative fiction being written today is income tax returns.
More funny Herman Wouk quotes
***
The profession of book-writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business.
More funny John Steinbeck quotes
***
If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers.
More funny Irvin S. Cobb quotes
***
It's a damn good story. If you have any comments, write them on the back of a check.
More funny Erle Stanley Gardner quotes
***
I'm like a big old hen. I can't cluck too long about the egg I've just laid because I've got five more inside me pushing to get out.
More funny Louis L'Amour quotes
***
Writers, like teeth, are divided into incisors and grinders.
More funny Walter Bagehot quotes
***
The reminiscences of Mrs. Humphrey Ward ... convinced me that autobiography is a sin.
More funny Harold Laski quotes
***
The difference between an author and a horse is that the horse doesn't understand the horse dealer's language.
More funny Max Frisch quotes
***
Writing is pretty crummy on the nerves.
More funny Paul Theroux quotes
***
The secret of good writing is to say an old thing in a new way or to say a new thing in an old way.
More funny Richard Harding Davis quotes
***
If you wrote a novel in South Africa which didn't concern the central issues, it wouldn't be worth publishing.
More funny Alan Paton quotes
***
You can always count on a murderer for a fancy prose style.
More funny Vladimir Nabokov quotes
***
And all writing is creating or spinning dreams for other people so they won't have to bother doing it themselves.
More funny Beth Henley quotes
***
Writing is a lonely job, unless you're a drinker, in which case you always have a friend within reach.
More funny Emilio Estevez quotes
***
I believe some people are just too damn smart to write fiction.
More funny Harry Crews quotes
***
A young musician plays scales in his room and only bores his family. A beginning writer, on the other hand, sometimes has the misfortune of getting into print.
More funny Marguerite Yourcenar quotes
***
Let's face it, writing is hell.
More funny William Styron quotes
***
A collection of short stories is generally thought to be a horrendous clinker; an enforced courtesy for the elderly writer who wants to display the trophies of his youth, along with his trout flies.
More funny John Cheever quotes
***
I'm astounded by people who take 18 years to write something. That's how long it took that guy to write 'Madame Bovary,' and was that ever on the best-seller list?
More funny Sylvester Stallone quotes
***
The waste basket is the writer's best friend.
More funny Isaac Bashevis Singer quotes
***
A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special.
More funny Nelson Mandela quotes
***
When I was a little boy, they called me a liar, but now that I am grown up, they call me a writer.
More funny Isaac Bashevis Singer quotes
***
I've always believed in writing without a collaborator, because where two people are writing the same book, each believes he gets all the worry and only half the royalties.
More funny Agatha Christie quotes
***
The best time to plan a book is while you're doing the dishes.
More funny Agatha Christie quotes
***
The cure for mixed metaphors, I have always found, is for the patient to be obliged to draw a picture of the result.
More funny Bernard Levin quotes
***
There's one good kind of writer—a dead one.
More funny James T. Farrell quotes
***
Here I am paying big money to you writers and what for? All you do is change the words.
More funny Samuel Goldwyn quotes
***
My sole literary ambition is to write one good novel, then retire to my hut in the desert, assume the lotus position, compose my mind and senses, and sink into meditation, contemplating my novel.
More funny Edward Abbey quotes
***
For a long time now I have tried simply to write the best I can. Sometimes I have good luck and write better than I can.
More funny Ernest Hemingway quotes
***
Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week.
More funny Bette Midler quotes
***
After being Turned Down by numerous Publishers, he had decided to write for Posterity.
More funny George Ade quotes
***
I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.
More funny Peter De Vries quotes
***
Words are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for words.
More funny Josh Billings quotes
***
About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
More funny Josh Billings quotes
***
You will find more famous quotes of all types at our sister site
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