Funny Ironic Quotes Biography
we even have ironic facts .. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark
What a nice night for an evening.
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
Some people say that I'm superficial, but that's just on the surface.
On one hand, I'm indecisive; but on the other, I'm not.
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's intolerance.
The world's full of apathy, but I don't care.
Perspective is in the eye of the beholder.
Prejudiced people are all alike.
Those who judge others will burn in Hell!
Exaggeration is not all it's cracked up to be.
I'm still not sure if I understand ambiguity.
There's no such thing as nonexistence.
Cooperation can only be reached if we work together.
As far as I'm concerned, treachery will sometimes bring loyalty into question.
It doesn't matter what temperature a room is; it's always room temperature.
Avoid cliches like the plague.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
I always try to do things in chronological order.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
Death to all fanatics!
An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Don't chew [or eat] with your mouth full.
It's deja vu all over again.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous!
I always wanted to be a procrastinator!
Rehab is for quitters!
Don't be redundant by repeating yourself.
Some people type so fast that forget to include
I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn't enough anxiety in my life.
I have this nagging fear that everyone is out to make me paranoid.
Free advice is worth what you paid for it.
Entropy just isn't what it used to be.
I keep telling myself that I am a pathological liar, but I am not sure if I believe it.
Not only am I redundant & superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Always be on the lookout for conspicuousness otherwise it's hard to tell if someone is inconspicuous.
He doesn't have much of a reputation, or so I've heard.
I disagree with unanimity.
I have my doubts about disbelief.
Avoid Alliteration. Always.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
I always wanted to be a procrastinator... never got around to it.
Freedom of speech is overrated.
* The nice thing about meditation is that it makes doing nothing quite respectable. - Paul Dean
* I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! - Tom Lehrer
* The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin
* Electricity is really just organized lightning. - George Carlin, American comedian
* To punish me for my contempt for authority, fate made me an authority myself. - Albert Einstein, math wiz, “ya think?”
* Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. - Bill Cosby, American comedian
* In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country of America, capitalism triumphed over democracy. - Fran Lebowitz
* Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz
* Polite conversation is rarely either. - Fran Lebowitz
* Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz
*** For more laughs make sure you visit my other blog, The Social Poets, for late night show quips, jokes and funny videos all in one Roundup of Sunday Funnies post every Monday. Cheeky Quote Day is on Wednesdays and Editorial Cartoons Roundup on Saturdays.
*** Check out my other humor blog, Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd, where I park whatever I find while cruising the web, a variety of goodies!
*** To keep you laughing and arm you with some interesting trivia check out 25 Weird Coffee Trivia to Astound and Amuse You! Funny coffee related photos too, enjoy!